As a forty-something woman in love, I can offer some insight about what woman really want. Before I found my soul mate, I had to first find happiness, on my own, without a man in my life. It took years of failed relationships before I realized self-created happiness is critical. Can you really expect your partner to be your end all and be all? Sure, you can expect this but if you want a healthy relationship, you must realize your mate can’t be your sole source for happiness; this fulfillment manifests from within and anything else is icing on the cake!
We want different things from our partners during different stages of our lives. If you’re looking for a booty call or to be the puppeteer of your partner (without true give and take), then this isn’t the article for you. But, if you’re looking for a healthy, long lasting relationship, one that thrives on love, read on my friend!
The true foundation for a healthy relationship is reflective of partnership. It’s not one-sided; it requires give and take. This truth must be realized to embrace love whole-heartedly. At times, one partner will be facing hardship and during this period, the other must step up. This is cyclical; roles will reverse at times. Love relationships are not perfect; they will be flawed. We must accept this reality, if not, the fairy tale illusion of perfection will cause failure. If you’re not honest by taking ownership of your actions and expectations, change, otherwise, you’ll attract similar characteristics from your line up of future inadequate partners.
A healthy relationship must have a genuine foundation to manifest success in love. Women want to find a partner whose eyes are reflective of their own heart’s desires. This doesn’t mean we can’t accomplish fulfilling our heart’s desires without this person but instead, it means this individual will encourage and support our passion because our happiness is important! It is essential the partnership is fully blended, mind, body and spirit; this energizes the lives of both individuals involves. This heavenly fusion, when genuine and vulnerable, will shock the mortality and awaken the souls of those involved. It manifests love that renews a zest for life; it is a cherished and special bond. We want a union that celebrates our lives together, and fuels courage to overcome life’s adversity. The entwined collective strength of this partnership will empower the individuals in the relationship to brave life’s trials and tribulations knowing each significant other will always have the other’s back. Although you can’t walk in each other’s shoes, together you create an intangible force that you’re able to carry with you to help you conquer any battle! Women want to feel special, to know their existence is needed. We want a relationship authentically blended with love and spirituality. Realize this, put it out there, and manifest it into your life; it’s possible. I know this because I’m experiencing true love and you can too!
Kathryn J. Williams is an author and artist who works to increase spiritual wellbeing through inspirational poetry and unique commissioned drawings. Her book, ‘What Can I Say When Words Escape Me, being present in times of sorrow,’ (2009) was written to help those suffering sudden life hardships. In her business Lifetime Art Impressions, LLC, her clients commission oil pastel drawings, personalized inspirational poetry, and unique bereavement products. She is currently working on her second book, which is reflective of her journey, creativity and healing.
What women want in a relationship to feel complete might surprise you! This can be summed up on the three points of a triangle. Point 1: Women want to feel wanted. Point 2: Women want to feel respected. Point 3: They want to be physically touched (in a variety of loving ways). If the partner can enhance their sense of security and safety, too, it’s a home run.
Here are the components in detail, and how women can take leadership to enhance these aspects in any relationship:
Women want to feel wanted: This is all about being number one in their partner’s life. Women like to know that out of all the women in the world (mother-in-laws and kids included), that they are at the top of his list. A passionate look in the eye or a love note can remind any woman that she’s desired more than anything else.
Common Sense Tip: Most males need to be taught this step. First, decide what makes you feel wanted, whether it’s an unexpected hug or date night dinner, and then let him know. Saying thank you to his gestures of love offers positive reinforcement, too.
Women want to feel respected: Respect is about being admired and revered.Whether she is admired for her ability to have a career, manage money, creatively solve problems, or effectively run a household, women like to know they are valued by their partner.
Common Sense Tip: Again, open communication is essential here.He might already respect you for numerous reasons, but women can take the guesswork out of the process by freely discussing what’s important to you. This can include sharing thoughts about a book you’re reading or reminding your man that you’d like him to listen to what you have to say. This must all be done in a kind and timely fashion, of course.
Women want to be lovingly touched: While physical touch in a relationship might be instantly associated with sex, it means much more than that. Touch is about holding hands, leading her by the small of her back, or a light kiss in public.
Common Sense Tip: Tell him what you desire. Instead of assuming he knows what you want, take the lead in telling your partner how you’d like to be touched. You might discover what he feels comfortable with and what he doesn’t. I mean, who knows, kissing in public might be embarrassing to him. By opening up communication, and touch, you enhance this point on your triangle.
Women want to feel secure:
The core of the female triangle is feeling that they are safe and secure. Part of this necessity for protection evolves from the maternal care-taking instinct, even if no physical children are present. Security refers to financial stability as well as security in the relationship itself. Asking to be an active part of financial decisions and your financial future boosts this sense of security, as well as feeling of respect, in the relationship.
Are you tired of attracting the wrong woman? Go tohttp://Getthatonespecialgirl.com and sign up for my free video series: Stand out from other men, become irresistible, so she chooses YOU!
“What is it that you really want?” We all have different answers to this question depending on the day. However if you are like me and my patients you are probably really bad at speculating what it is that you really want. Answering this is like going to Vegas and betting at the craps table. You can estimate what will make you fulfilled about as well as you can estimate the next number to be rolled.
We all are busy women in a high paced world and when asked this you may answer with something like attention, time or gifts. However, if you were to sit quietly and go deep inside your heart you may find the answer to be something more. I believe that the top three things women want is to be content, have confidence and feel loved. More than just a want, I believe these are needs, just like everything and everyone; we all want to be accepted. Women need to know that they are loved and making a difference. During my years as a naturopath I have seen thousands of women on a daily basis and I have discovered that many women really don’t like where they are. We look at our friends or other women and instantly we start comparing ourselves to them, doing this leads to unhappiness. Women who are insecure are suffering in their minds and emotions, I know because I have been there.
So how do we get what we really want? How to we have an “all is well” feeling every day? I believe you can have all these wants right now, in three easy steps. First, I have learned it begins with YOU. If you depend on a man to give this to you, you will always be disappointed. If you are expecting others to fulfill these wants you always will end up disappointed. You must choose to stop comparing and be thankful. You must wake up each morning making the decision to be happy with what you already have. Second, you must love yourself. Knowing how to love your-self is extremely important. Self love is at the very core of wellbeing, and your ability to create and enjoy the kind of life you want. Last, you cannot enjoy anything in life if you are not at peace with yourself. Your relationship with yourself is the most important one you’ll ever have. Many women in this world are unhappy with their appearance. Dealing with feelings of dislike toward yourself will weigh heavy on your shoulders. Learn to accept yourself and you will feel fulfilled. Instead of feeling bad about yourself, every single day tell yourself that you are a beautiful and unique person. More importantly, instead of disliking something about yourself do something to correct your flaws. There is a solution to every problem you have if you are willing to make the effort you can have what you really really want.
Cammi Balleck, Ph.D, is a leading Happy Hormone Doctor. She specializes in teaching how to unleash happy hormones and be healthy and happy. She graduated in 2003 with a Doctorate Degree in Naturopathic Health and is the author of Making Happy Happen. More information can be found at www.makinghappyhappen.com
Cammi Balleck, Ph.D, is the author of Making Happy Happen and is a leading Happy Hormone Doctor. She specializes in teaching how to unleash your happy hormones naturally. She graduated in 2003 with a Doctorate Degree in Naturopathic Health and has been the owner of the successful Elite Wellness Center since. Cammi’s passions are helping everyone improve their health and live happy, whole lives. Cammi lives in Colorado, and loves the outdoors and climbing 14,000 foot mountains. More information can be found at www.makinghappyhappen.com.
Are you tired of attracting the wrong woman? Go to http://getthatonespecialgirl.com and sign up for my free video series: Stand out from other men, become irresistible, so she chooses YOU!
I am 50 years old, attractive, well educated, and smart, and I’ve been dealing with men for many years as friends and as lovers.
For me, the bottom line in “the” romantic relationship in my life is open communication that comes from a place of deep respect and sincere interest in who I am, what I care about, what I think, and what I need.
Frankly, for me, these kinds of conversations are an integral part of foreplay. I feel treasured, appreciated, admired, and loved. I want to feel that feeling to my core, in my mind, spirit, and body, and I know the difference.
Of course, physical attraction needs to be there too or the relationship won’t work. But all too often I have heard the “right words” from a man because he wanted what he wanted – sex, a trophy, whatever it was. This is selfish behavior. This disrespects me. It in no way leads to the kind of trusting partnership I want, need, and deserve.
I admit, there have been times when I have overlooked certain selfish behaviors because I was lonely and made excuses for the man I was seeing. I made excuses like, “Well, he’s just not comfortable opening up or showing his emotions,” or “He’s just not good at communication, and prefers to show his feelings through actions,” or, worse yet, “Maybe it’s me, and if I lower my expectations, try harder, change something, etc. maybe he’ll be more comfortable really talking to me and meeting me on a deeper level.”
I actually had one “ex” say to me, when pressed a bit about how much I wished we could talk more, “I’m the strong, silent type.” “Oh really?,” I thought (but didn’t say because by then there was clearly no point). “And that helps the relationship how?”
I do know that every time I have made excuses, backed off, or settled, the relationship didn’t last and I ended up feeling rotten about myself. I’m not going there again, not any more.
I wish more men would realize just how very attractive they are when they can look at us intently in the eyes, hold us close, and make us feel on a very deep level how much they care about who we really are. For me, this nonverbal communication, coupled with the same verbal message, is the most powerful and sensuous experience of love there is. He would have my unwavering loyalty, love, and support.
Bonnie Hurd Smith is a historian, author, and public speaker who writes about women’s history, women’s issues, and cultural subjects from her home on Boston’s North Shore. She is also the president of History Smiths, a PR, marketing, community outreach, and event planning company that specializes in using “history” to achieve business goals.
This article was written, so you learn how to love a woman.
When I was newly divorced, I found myself feeling very much like a guppy on land. Suddenly in a place along my life’s path that required the type of decision making I hadn’t needed to make in a long time, I discovered I wasn’t as certain about what I wanted out of a relationsip, than I once thought. However, divorced from a man who was condescending, passive aggressive, and emotionally unavailable, I knew these were traits I wanted to avoid.
After ten years of confusing relationships with men, I started to understand that I needed to clear up my thinking about love. Because I am a woman who has committed her life to staying self aware, the moment I consciously realized that of all the inept men I was attracting into my life I was the common denominator, humility brought me to my emotional knees. If I were ever going to manifest a truly mutually satisfying relationship in my life, I was going to have to know what it was I wanted out of a partnership, as much as what I did not want from one.
After much searching of my soul, I discovered that my ideas about love were very much rooted in old familial codependent beliefs. Programmed to believe love equaled enabling, catering, denial, and over compensating, I was a single divorced mom attracting men who needed to be taken care of, simply because my conditioning had taught me to disown myself for the sake of others, unconsciously presuming that these guidelines were prerequisites for this thing called love As old patterns were revealed, I found myself in a unique and new position. For the first time in my life, I saw ‘me’, and understood that I had the right to want what ‘I’ wanted. And after the life draining marriage I had had, I now wanted it all!
What I wanted was to know that the man that I loved could see me. I needed to feel like who I was on a heart level mattered. I wanted a friend, and a confidant. What I wanted was a man whose soul had eyes, and who was able to make me feel like my emotional contentment was his concern. I wanted a man who didn’t need a woman to take care of him. I wanted a man who was good with money, groomed himself well, and could dance too. And until a man like that showed up, I decided I would not settle.
Within less than a year the relationship that I had been waiting for all of my life appeared. Once I began to feel worthy of love, a love that was worthy showed up. My work as a codependent relationship coach, has confirmed countless times that what woman really want is to feel ‘seen.’ Innate seekers of contentment, women eventually learn that until their soul feels loved, their hearts cannot rest. All love starts with self-love.
Lisa A. Romano is a best selling author, speaker and codependent relationship
specialist. Her book The Road Back To Me has received rave reviews. Known as a
self-help guru to those who have had the pleasure of working with her, Lisa’s innate
and insightful understanding of the human condition is one that leaves no prisoners.
Steadfast in her belief that denial is at the core of most dysfunctional relationships,
Lisa is as strong in her convictions as she is gentle with her ability to help people
reconstruct and design their lives anew.
Her upcoming book, On The Road Back To Me will be released before the end of this
Lisa is also the co-author of the book Healing From Within part of the acclaimed
Adventures in Manifesting book series by Alska publishing, which include some
of the industries most influential thinkers like the Secrets Dr. Joe Vitale, Loral
Langemeir, and best selling authors Dr. Marilyn Joyce and Andreas Moritz.