Do you keep attracting men or women based on chemistry alone?
I dated a guy in the past where the chemistry was off the charts. Later, I realized that we weren’t even on the same page with important values, and he was not emotionally available. After weeks of tumultion, I thought to myself, “Am I really doing this again?”
Chemistry can be addicting at first, but it helps you overlook the real qualities this man or woman may or may not be offering. Also, you get so caught up in the chemistry drug that when it wears off you realize that sometimes this person might even be a bit crazy, narcissistic or a complete mess. Can you relate?
Lesson learned. I no longer jumped into relationships based on chemistry alone because it just plain sucked. As a Love Coach, I experienced lessons and growth first hand, so I can share the wisdom I gained to overcome the past experiences to clients. Hopefully, they don’t have to go through the same challenges and obstacles that I have in dating and love.
Now here’s the scoop:
1) Don’t sleep with someone right away. Get to know someone first before you give them the prize, which is you. Men, I know you may be thinking that I am nuts, but do you really want to be entangled with a woman who goes crazy on you. Women you might mistake the chemistry for the connection you deeply crave, but wait to give yourself away to a man sexually. Trust me on this.
2) Create a best friend ship as the foundation. You’ve heard stories of people who are divorced and literally hate their ex. I can see they probably didn’t create a best friend first. A best friend has your back, listens to you, pays attention to what you want, and you can trust this person. Does his or her actions reflect what they say? Is it easy to be with person or is it a struggle?
3) Listen to your intuition. If a man says, he is not ready to be in a long term relationship, he is actually telling you the truth. Women, don’t try change his mind. You aren’t on the same page as him, and let him go. Men, if you don’t have a good feeling about her, then stand up for yourself and tell her that you are no longer interested in dating her.
I work with clients around the country, and I hear the same story over again. “I have such great chemistry with him/her?” Do yourself a favor and if you are not on the same page, then don’t sleep with him or her until you have found your best friend. Create a boundary around your heart’s desires and say yes to what you truly want inside.
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Last, you can sign up for my FREE VIDEO SERIES: Break the cycle of attracting the wrong relationships, and Find Your Dream Partner. Go to http://findyourdreampartner.com
Have a beautiful day!